Oh, Mother!

Today is one of the days where I know for certain that God is testing me.  I keep saying to myself the ever-popular 'that which does not kill us makes us stronger'.  Doesn't make the desire to bang my head repeatedly into a wall diminish though.  Yesterday, I was able to take a break from my life and get a spa treatment with my good friend.  This makes me feel worse today.  I would think the few hours of independence would make my cup o' patience runneth over.  It most certainly does not.  Makes me feel like a bad parent.  Oh, Mother!

I'm so glad that today is Sunday and not a weekday.  If absolutely no work gets done today at home, my family is no worse off.  For starters, the Directv in our kids playroom went out...again.  By the way, I hate them with a passion.  By my own fault, the kids have grown accustomed to having the TV on at random intervals throughout the day.  When it is not there on demand, they can become little devils.  I've tried singing to them, but I don't want to scar them for life.  Oh, Mother!

My 4 year old son, Brady, is autistic and has random bouts of 'bad days'.  He has been taking some new vitamins and has done very well lately, but today he was a whirlwind of drama, resistance, and testing.  We went with grandma to McDonalds, aka the Chicken House, to get everyone some nuggets.  My son had a meltdown and started slapping my youngest boy.  I began to discipline right away and got loads of resistance.  His new word is, 'ouch!' and he uses it at all times when he is touched, even softly.  So when trying to move him quickly so he quits pummelling the 15 month old, he starts screaming, "Ouch, ouch, OUCH!!" and everyone looks at me like I'm beating him. I absolutely hate disciplining my kids in public, but it must be done.  Oh, Mother!

As a mother, there is only so much crying you can tolerate before your heart and brain will explode.  The twins normally take naps during the day.  Today was the exception and I had no reprieve.  We finally got Brady to fall asleep after a long screaming battle.  He wore himself out.  The twins were a different story and never went down even after multiple tantrums.  In the crib, scream, out of the crib, scream: repeat.  They've been well fed, changed, given drinks.  You know when you're at the breaking point when you ask your 15 month olds, "What do you want?!?!" and actually wait for a response.  Maybe I've been watching too much Family Guy and expect them to rant like Stewie:  Yes mother, I would like a glass of tepid milk and a slightly warmed baguette with a generous side of balsamic vinegar, olive oil and a sprig of rosemary.  Thank you ever so much for asking.  So I took some Kix out of the cupboard and dispersed about a quarter of the box out freely onto the playroom floor.  They quit crying and went to town.  Dogs get to use a bowl, but not my kids.  Not today.  Oh, Mother!

If anyone knows of a comedian that needs material on parenting or perils of raising a child, pass my info along to them.  I'm sure I'll have a lot of good stuff to use.  Bill Cosby was by far the best, but Louis C.K. has been really easy to relate to lately.  He has a special out on Showtime and a sitcom on FX Tuesday nights.  He's added in the fact that we are all getting older, less attractive, and have much different priorities in life than we used to.  Our blood pressure goes up permanently, our bodies change drastically, and we no longer sit at a table to eat.  We shovel in the kids leftovers as fast as we can while leaning over the sink.  We never sleep either.  I would have never thought I could consistently get less than 6 hours of interrupted sleep a night and actually function as a human being.  And think, I get to do all of this tomorrow, too!  Oh, Mother!




Leslie